This thing all things devours;
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats mountains down.

Strangers in the Daytime

by Gladys Booby

     It appears residents of the quiet town of Fletrook have been dealing with their own foreign invasion. The local police & fire station have been inundated with complaints of strangers walking on the wrong side of the road and taking up all the lunchtime seating at Glady’s Fish Fry lunch counter. “They’re everywhere,” said one disgruntled pensioner, Ben Singer. “I’ve run into two of them just this morning. They never keep an eye on where they’re going. Yesterday I seen one step into the street without looking and almost get runs over. Where they coming from?”
     The short answer is America. This small town has seen an influx in working men and women about town. Always in pairs, these Americans eat, drink and talk with as little interaction with local residents. When asked, these Americans say they’re in the area for a “Coalition Conference,” although no local conference could be confirmed by our staff at The Daily Prophet. And with traffic accidents at an all-time high (three just last week), residents are starting to lose their patience with their mysterious guests. 
     But not everyone feels this way. Christine Smith, proprietor of The Cat Cafe, says the complaints aren’t anything to take seriously. “Bunch of whining, if you ask me,” she replied when we did, in fact, ask her. “They come in here every morning and order twenty lattes to go. And then they’re in here again in the afternoon. Great for business. These Americans can take over the whole bloody town, as far as I’m concerned.”